| Love is a feeling that we don't understand. |
[18 Sep 2006|09:13am] |
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music |
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The chalets - night rocker |
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im in schoo right now in graphic design i had to do a collage that reprsents me guess 
i got so lazy half way threw. photography 2 is so awesome i love it other than that im taking allart classes and school sucks once again people are svery small minded and everyones the same and is and does nothing intresting at all. i miss kelsey. and i plan on making a book about teens. and i wish the kid next to would quit beeming . read a book called clumsy by jeffery brown it's so good.
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| Liar. |
[13 Aug 2006|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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I was getting ready for the first day of school which is tommrow and i stubled across this.
LIAR..It's so hard not to call her..fix me..
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| Pictures i tryed to forget. |
[13 Aug 2006|03:50pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Fischerspooner - A Kick In The Teeth |
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Technically were on a break , she told me i don't have head in faith or something, i never realized that could affect a realtionship i mean if two people love each other does it matter if there views on the world are a little diffrent? jewish people and chirstain people get married all the time it does'nt matter. I feel like i don't meet her standards like i'm not good enough .she said she needs someone who has a head in faith or soemething i don't really no what it means, i was'nt really ever intorduce to all that but i believe in everything chirstains do i just don't know all the stuff. are realationship is completly fine but that effected it i don't get it. since were on a break were gonna see what life is like with out each other. she'll either realized her life is empty and lonely with me or she'll realize she's better off. i figure i won't call for like a week and let her think about her faith and all that that she told me she needs to figure out, she said she would like to be togther again and she hopes we can if everything works out by this point i've given up and comeplelty saw something coming. but i'm trying so hard not to call her to just let her know or someone know, hey i could of die two times yesterday or went to a beautiful place and wish you were there. and just ask her about her day maybe she'll miss hearing that or miss being asked or maybe she'll find it a relief. I'm trying to get the hell outta my house as of now i got nothing to look forward to or doing. I also lost another camera i can't film again or the 4th time this is it.i'm getting a job for real a saving for a vx1000 i've had it i have to finally make my dreams come true and stop wasting time. As of now i feel like giving up but i can't i'm still gonna keep trying i'm very empty cuz i have nothing to really cheer me up or keep going. I lost everything within a week. oh yeah and my brother straight up stuck me in the face two days ago so i don't really have family either and later that night kelsey told me all that. Life's looking lovely right about now.
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[10 Aug 2006|03:18pm] |
Ask me how i'am.
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| Cabaret |
[07 Aug 2006|12:23am] |
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music |
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The Chemical Brothers |
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Damn i just saw a trailer to a movie called little miss sunshine it looks like Sufjan Stevens did half there soundtrack, great it's gonna be just like the shins and garden state i mean it's good for them but ahhh i dunno kinda sucks for me. I'm not looking forward to being complete sick of there songs i already kinda am.
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| Our Bones Were Chalk |
[06 Aug 2006|02:11am] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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The Magic Numbers - Love Me Like You |
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Does'nt it seem like all i ever talk about is my girlfriend, i'm sorry try and bare with me she's important to me that's all. U know That stupid city i'm always talking about?
I go there quit often. U know what i hate i hate when people cut themselves out of pictures like when they took a picture with someone else and cut themselves out.Get over you self i mean god damn, it's just one picture with some one else.I just don't like people who just like and just think of themselves if anything the picture should be better because your with a person it has more meaning and to it. you know i always think of the well being of others more than i do myself? I will take a hit for someone just so they won't feel pain, sometimes not even and friend or family member sometimes a complete stanger i don't know it's not like i want to be paid back in return i just generally care about individuals, like i smile when something good happens to a stranger because i actually i'm happy for them, i don't know 'm a werido.
The Photo: Credit goes to Harrsion steg the only kid who understands beauty in photography like i do for example,like when people smile for pictures. I hate it cuz it's not a real smile there just trying to look happy .to capture and actually smile and actually happiness is true beauty and harrison understands that like i do and he also said. "like you can kinda just see in the person you can see a personality, look at it thru your lens, and BAM you go it" exactly like my point his camera also gets really good depth perception which is my favorite kind of photograph, u get the actually person and everything about them he likes it alot to. He is a very cool kid i like having him around. Even though sometimes i think i talk to much when we talk.
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| He lives! |
[05 Aug 2006|02:57am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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The Unicorns - Jellybones |
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HockeyDan1: Jonathan, you sly dog!
expansion187: hey
HockeyDan1: How are you, sir?
expansion187: good bro, yourself?
HockeyDan1: Great.
HockeyDan1: :)
expansion187: where u been , you've been missing out on the live journal.
HockeyDan1: Sorry, son.
expansion187: what happend?
expansion187: i update still
HockeyDan1: I've seen 'em.
HockeyDan1: Congratulations on the girlfriend.
expansion187: ha
HockeyDan1: You, sir, are a classy man.
HockeyDan1: You deserve only the best.
expansion187: haha yeah
expansion187: she deserves the best , i'm just trying to be
HockeyDan1: You!
HockeyDan1: You're so humble.
expansion187: hahaha nahh, i'm serious
HockeyDan1: No matter, I'm happy things are on the upswing for you.
expansion187: that's what i'm hoping for
HockeyDan1::)
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| For the Widows in Paradise |
[05 Aug 2006|02:05am] |
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mood |
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I really like Sufjan Stevens |
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music |
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Sufjan Stevens - Chicago |
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Today was'nt that good.I woke up talking to kane on the phone and a cop knocking at my door. There was this big ordeal a week or two ago. Dylan my next door neighbor and i guess friend but not that much anymore , gave my friend matt the key two her house to stay there and blah blah she called the cops on me and him because we " trashed" her room and matt stole her camera, ok i did'nt do anything so yeah i did'nt get in trouble the cop said i would go to jail if matt did'nt give the camera back, yeah after i go to jail then what? The cop said he'll let the judge deal with me, yeah whatever the funniest part of it was he asked if my parents were home i replyed no and he asked how old i'am because i was home alone and i guess u have to be a certain age or something. why would he even ask that not only i'am i taller than him i also had more facial hair then him ,what did he think i had a case like robin williams from that movie jack? what an idiot.He said people worked hard for there stuff and people jsut steal it i said yeah i know i got a more expensive video camera stolen and all my other stuff to i know how it feels but more because they at least know who has it and are gonna get it back, people always give me a bad experience and i always give them one that's way worst that i've experienced in the same field i've been threw it all.
I draw most the times after big stuff happens to me expaling the situation threw and image or have a hidden message or something.My thought's, ideas , experciences everything.
This is a water color painting actually. My book is coming along.
I hung out with my girlfriend later on that night and realized how much more i hate coral springs and the kid's and everything in it. 500 kid's at taco bell hey kid's there's a city outside coral springs fucking losers, reminds me of that moive pleasantville. I actually hung out with her friend's and they had absoulty nothing intresting to say and to do, seriosuly they suck but she basically ignored me most the night there was a point in time where i was like 3 chairs away from her and she did'nt seem to mind. I'm i supposed to get mad or what do i do? she came over eventually after she finally realized i was isolated from the group, it's not the same with my friends i always pay attention to her more than my friend's and are constantly by her and kissing her on the head neck etc. I don't know sometimes i wish i would get the same. It seems like she does'nt care as much as I do and it just makes me sad sometimes to think u love some one more and they don't care. Actually it makes me really sad i hate it why can't anyone love me the way i love them I mean is'nt the girl supposed to be complaining about this seriosuly what the fuck? She does'nt treat me the way she used to maybe she's losing feelings for me it's not a good feeling it always seems like somethings wrong cuz she's not the way she used to be adoring me almost. it just seems like i get in the way.I wrote a letter to my friend jackie tonight as well explaing my situation more i know she'll care more and made it look cool as well.
Drop me a line?
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